Sam, a business man was driving home after long sales trip and saw a hitchhiker with a cow. Sam finally stopped and the hitchhiker approached the window and said, "Will you give me a ride to Denver Sir?"
Sam was amazed and said, "I do not mind, but you will have to leave your cow here."
"No Sir," the hitchhiker said. "I will just tie her to the back of the car, and I promise you sir, she will not slow you down. I Promise."
The business man was reluctant, but he was dying for company, so he agreed. The hitchhiker was elated and tied the cow to the back bumper.
They started out and Sam took the car up to 10 miles per hour, he looked in the mirror and the cow seemed to be trotting along. 20 mph, 30 mph, 40 mph, did not phase the cow. The hitchhiker looked over to Sam and assured him that the cow would be fine, not to worry.
Sam took the car up to 55 mph and still the cow was looking very comfortable. Now Sam was getting a little frustrated by this cow who could keep up with his car. Sam watched the speedometer go to 65, 75 and finally 90 mph. Sam looked back and FINALLY the cow seemed tired, "I got you, you son of gun." "What is the matter?" the hitchhiker asked.
"Your cow seems tired, her tongue is sticking out," the business man said. It's sticking out on the left, or the right?" the hitchhiker asked. "The left side," Sam said with a smile. "Well," the hitchhiker said, "You better pull over, she is trying to pass you."
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows.
"What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, herd", her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
One farmer says to another farmer that he had to shoot one of his cows? "Was it mad cow?" asks the other farmer. The farmer replies "Well it wasn't very happy about it".
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the cow. "Your name is written inside the cover."
There are 2 cows in a field, One cow looks at the other cow and says "moo." The other cow looks back and says "I was just going to say that"
Mrs Betty Patty was walking down the cow path and she noticed two bulls having a cowversation. She went over to them and said what you cowversating about? One bull said I was telling ole Bull here about my new job. Mrs. Betty said well what do you do? Bull said I am a moooooover!!!!
A farmer was milking a cow one day when he noticed a fly go in the cows ear. After he was done with the milking, he saw the same fly in the milk. Then he said, "That's funny. It went in one ear and out the udder!"
There are 3 men on a train entering Scotland. The first man is an ecologist. The second man is a logician. The third man is a mathematician. They all see a brown cow on the side of the tracks parallel to the train. The ecologist says, "Look! The cows in Scotland are brown.". The logician says, "No, no. There is at least one cow in Scotland that is brown." The mathematician says, "You're both wrong. There is at least one cow in Scotland of which one side appears to be brown."